the exams have been over and it seems to me that within this period two weeks, time has been ticking away rather slowly.
its kinda hard to adapt to life when you know the world is changing.
everyday is a struggle not to be influence by the world.
for me personally, deep inside the silent heart of mine which speaks to noone, i find myself in loads of difficulties and confusion.

have you ever have this idea that one day you will wake up on bed to a different world where present is actually history?

thinking back on my childhood days,
im a silent loner and i've never had the guts to make friends.
im afraid to speak out and i have little confidence in myself.
slowly i learnt to adapt to the world and struggle my way through finding the identity of myself.

Personal Identity?
who am i?
just a normal kid living an average life?

Honestly, life sucks and it certainly feels heaven is a better home.
its just the struggles that makes me feel like giving up.
failed failed failed...
i think i failed myself..

studies?..relationships?..ambitions?..career?

it seemed a little too far fetched, but im starting to worry of things that i should not be worrying about..
im still finding acceptance of people in my life.
well..
if you read my prev. blog...
i don't really beleive in friends.
cause none of them were there for me.

though some show love,care,concearn.
none of them were constant.
is it bcos i dont open up much?.
well...i dont know..

i think im losing my friends.
just a random thought..
my handphone bills are overly high due of answering and msging people who are in need.
but i wonder if anybody will be there for me in need..to love me?

am i loved?

badddddd mooooooddddddyyyyy eemoootttiiioooonn.