while singapore is enjoying Chinese new year
there is this dull atmosphere among my family

my grandma is warded into the hospital for sickness(old age)
and she is not in a very good condition
im very worried over it..and im so troubled
she's the only grandma that im left with
and she's the one that i can communicate most with

i always tell myself to be prepared for the worst
but i cant bring myself to think that!
i dont wanna think that she will be gone from my life..
God please i still want to shower her with more love..
I still want to treasure her more

theres this incident that i will never forget.
it was a conversation between my grandma,my lil sis,me a few years back when my lil sis was still very little and niave

Meimei(lil sis) asks cheekily & innocently: "Mama(grandma) when will you die?"
Me: "MEI!!!!..OIEE! WHY U ASK THAT!?"
Grandma: "Silly GIRL!..i still dont want to die yet!..i still want to see my great grandchildren"
*Grandma laughs*
Grandma: "I am counting on you Jeremy to see my first great grand child okay?"
Me replies cheekily: " No Problem!.. dont worry mama i sure will find a wife one! You will get to see my children hor!"

sighs..if i can only tell mama ..to be strong..

please dont leave me